Having a Delicate Conversation With Employees

For all HR managers, having a delicate conversation with employees can be difficult. There are however some tips to succeed with such a discussion and create a positive impact.

Fernand Bélair, certified human resources consultant and an expert at conflict resolution, knows a few things about it. Animated discussions and delicate subjects arise regularly in the workplace. The most recurring topics are managing performance, the problem of absenteeism, discipline and inappropriate behaviour.

Dealing with the situation

Contrary to what some employees might think, employers don’t take pleasure in confronting their employees. Quite the contrary… which is what just postpones the problem to later. “Most often, it is avoidance that could be termed pathological (fear of grievances, complaints, various reprisals, fear of making mistakes, making the situation worse, etc.), compared to avoidance that could be described as strategic (temporary retreat to reflect and define the best approach to deal with the situation),” says Fernand Bélair. “People very often don’t know what to do or how to do it, and they leave it to the next manager to handle the situation,” he continues.

So how do you approach such a situation of having a delicate conversation with employees? Four elements will contribute to the discussion and work environment remaining healthy: curiosity, questioning, active listening and respect.

“The idea is to try to understand the overall situation and its concerns, to encourage reflection and expression,” adds the mediator and conflict resolution consultant. In fact, from this discussion it would be necessary to be able to note the problems that relate to the person, such as his skills, measure of adaptation, real interests, difficulties or the problems that relate to management or the organization.

Common mistakes to avoid

In contrast, going into a discussion with an absence of openness and listening to the employee will lead to situations of conflict or malaise in the long term. From this perspective, the employer must make sure not to take too much place in the communication. “It is essential to be very clear, while avoiding excessive certainty,” concludes Fernand Bélair. “Bias, snap judgements, criticisms or manipulation are obviously to be avoided.”


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